Wave Goodbye

Author: Reese
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They're not mine...blah blah blah...wish they were...blah blah blah.
Category/Summary: UC SongFic (Liz/?)
Author's Note: The song is 'Wave Goodbye' by Chris Cornell. This is my first attempt at songfic and at this particular shipper's fic as well. This fic serves as a 'thank you' to Darkchilde for her earlier contribution to the world of Loyalist fic. Keep up the good work, DC!

 

 

Words get tangled on your tongue
And you stumble on your feet when you miss somebody

The air just isn't the same since you've been gone.  It doesn't fill me with hope and energy, but rather suffocates me with every breath.  Sometimes, I try not to breathe.

And everywhere you think you see them
Walking down the street when you miss somebody.

I went running after a boy today in the park.  He had your hair color, your swagger but, when I got to him, he didn't have your face.  He didn't possess a smile that made me feel safe.  He didn't have eyes that made me feel loved.  He simply wasn't you.

When you miss somebody you tell yourself a hundred thousand times
Nobody ever lives forever so you give it one more try
To wave goodbye, wave goodbye

The others know nothing.  I put on a happy face so they have no idea what I feel inside.   For if they did, I'd have to explain why I feel that way and that's none of their damn business.  Let them think you loved her and only her.  Let them live the lie while I know the truth.

Every hurtful thing you ever said is ringing in your ear
When you miss somebody

I can't help but think of the times I tried to break it off, end whatever it was we had.  You'd always walk away and give me the time and space I needed, something Max would never have done.  And it worked, didn't it?  I always came back to you.  I always came home.

And every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear
When you miss somebody

I see Maria with Michael and it feels like a betrayal, for one of us to be with one of them after what happened to you.  I do my part.  I keep my distance from Max but am civil enough so as not to arouse their suspicions.  Sometimes, I wonder if they know…if they sense the change in me since you've been gone.  I don't want to live in the lie with them anymore.  I want them to know I've experienced true love.  I want them to know it was with you.

When you miss somebody you tell yourself everything will be alright
Try to stand up strong and brave when all you want to do
Is lay down and die

Kyle saves me on a regular basis.  I think he knows.  I don't know how he would, but there is something in the way he treats me now that makes me wonder.  We talk about you often, but only in private.  The others are not welcome.  Their presence would tarnish the memories we share of you.

How long I've waited for an answer or a sign
Lonely and weary from this troubled task of trying
To wave goodbye

I wish that you weren't gone…or that they brought you back…or that you could communicate with me from the other side or something.  Do you miss me?  Do you think I'm handling things the right way?  Am I being too harsh?  Not harsh enough?  I always thought I was the one with all the answers.  All along it was you.

So now you start to recognize that every single path you see
Leads to a tear in your eye
So wave goodbye, wave goodbye.

I guess I have no choice in the matter, really.  You're gone. I have to learn to deal with that.  If I tell them the truth, it will destroy everyone, even those I care about.  If I keep it to myself, I never get the pleasure of telling them that the greatest love among us was one they never even knew about.  So, for now, I will simply say goodbye and return to the lie I share with them, taking with me the knowledge that you loved me and I loved you…and that is all that matters.

Goodbye, Alex.

The End



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